Here’s the deal: Listening isn’t just about hearing words. It’s about getting the message, understanding it, and recognizing why it matters to the other person. Out of the four essential communication skills—reading, writing, speaking, and listening—listening is the one we all do the most but are shockingly bad at mastering.
Now, as we head into the holiday season, let me drop a truth bomb: This time of year is stressful. Clients are juggling a million things, and their stress levels are off the charts. You want to be the person who really listens, not just the one waiting to talk. That's how you build trust and lasting relationships. It's not just nice—it's essential for your business.
Listening isn’t just a "soft skill." It’s a power move. Stephen Covey said we spend most of our time communicating, yet almost none of us are trained to listen. Here’s the good news: You can get better at it. Listening isn’t some magical talent—it’s a skill you can learn and master.
And here’s a nugget of wisdom to chew on: "You have two ears and one mouth for a reason—use them in that proportion." Have you ever had a conversation where you were talking about one thing, but the other person responded like you were on a totally different page? Yeah, it’s frustrating. That’s because they weren’t really listening.
Take George, who recently attended the Trusted Risk Advisor program. He said, “I was expecting the client to respond based on last year’s renewal. But when I walked into the meeting, I realized I had to stop talking and actually listen. My assumptions almost made me miss what they were really saying.”
Why does this happen? It’s all about filters. There are three big ones that mess with your ability to listen:
- Education level. If you think the speaker is smarter (or not as smart) as you, you might tune out, thinking, “I can’t relate,” or “They think they’re better than me.”
- Cultural stereotyping. Ever notice how certain groups get dismissed more easily? In some cultures, women aren’t heard as much as men. In the U.S., we tend to listen to people in their 30s and 40s more than we do kids or older adults.
- Economic background. If someone seems to have more or fewer financial advantages than you, it’s easy to ignore them because “they don’t get it.”
These filters are holding you back from really listening—and worse, they’re sabotaging your client relationships, especially when emotions run high during the holidays.
Here’s how to break free and be the person who actually listens:
- Kill the distractions. Put the phone away. Close the laptop. Focus 100%.
- Be present. Stop getting lost in your own thoughts or crafting your response while they’re still talking.
- Don’t interrupt. Let them finish before you jump in. Seriously.
- Check your assumptions at the door. Stereotypes, past experiences, biases, all of it. Get rid of those filters.
If you can get better at listening—especially during the holidays when stress is at an all-time high—your clients will notice. Misunderstandings will drop. People will respond better to you. You’ll build deeper connections and, you might even pick up a thing or two you never expected.
So, don’t just hear people—listen. It’s the easiest way to win the holiday season and come out on top.